A 2020 Kind of Love

Posted by Mackenzi Benson on

Love & dating looks and feels a lot different this year. The circumstances have many of us making better decisions about who we give our time to and deeply reevaluating past relationships. Dating in our community has a made a change from desiring love to discovering self admiration and self care. Being 'her' and 'she' is the current attitude shift. "She is drinking her water, she is minding her business, she is improving her life. I am her and she is me." We are aware of our uniqueness and we aren't afraid to be ourselves. 

One of the major 2020 dating shifts propels the ideal of 'selectivity'. Being much more selective about who we let into our lives and space. Now that we can't hang out with any and everyone, we have to decide who all are worthy of our time, attention, and health. This comes at a time where we aren't able to see our closest friends and family as easily, so it's sensible that we reserve the right to keep our time and space sacred. Letting a man into our aura is more delicate now, as our world is more sensitive than ever before. 

Some of us are starting to see how valuable every moment is. It doesn't feel right to spend time with people or in situations which aren't contributing to our betterment. Truly unwilling to waste time, waste face or waste words. We aware that where our focus goes, our energy flows.  We refuse to put energy into non-beneficial interactions. Finally comfortable without getting attention for a moment...giving ourselves time to feel, absorb, and meditate. A shift from conditional confidence to eternal belief in ourselves and abilities. 

Being forced to slow down and be with with ourselves allowed us time to get in sync. We took the time to get in touch with our inner child, and found out she had healing to do. We learned that her voice was stifled, and unsupported so we knew there was work to be done. When a child cries out you go to her, find out what's causing pain and you soothe her. For so long so many of us ignored our inner child, or slipped her a pacifier without checking for the root of the issue. She grew angry, frustrated, and felt unloved, so she would cry out in her relationships, lash out at her loved ones, and argue her way through life.  Not anymore...

 Generational curse broken. Some of us have learned the importance of coming home to ourselves through prayer, meditation, and journaling. We listen to ourselves and address each issue bit by bit. Dating in 2020 has made many of us aware that some of our love life struggles are self-inflicted. Reevaluating past love has unveiled our dating patterns. Discovering untapped trauma and blockages have created a path toward self healing. This experience has led many of us to dating and getting to know ourselves. During this process we discovered unsealed experiences from our past. We've planted seeds expecting our partners would help water and provide sun. We've watched love blossom, bloom, wilt and die. During this time some of us realized certain relationships were seasonal, and some still posses a bounty to offer. 

Sit back, take a look at your partner, realize that is your reflection. Do you still feel the same about them? Do you still feel the same about yourself? 2020 is symbolic of clear vision, pure introspection and reflection. We were afforded the opportunity to see clearly for once in a long time, and things we thought looked good were less pretty. Visions that were once foggy became clear in life and love. With more time on our hands, we dated much differently, taking the time to really get to know a person. Considering the idea that we could ultimately be isolated with this one person for long periods of time shook our love core, and changed what we longed for in a partner. 

A six figure salary in a suite is a great look, but now we have to know if a man will hunt and provide. Shopping, vacations, and dinners will never go out of style, but we recognize that we need our parter to create consistent and fluid communication. Yes he remembers our anniversary and opens doors, but will he take your Grandmother to the grocery store and doctor appointments? Our culture has realized the power of Love Language. To build strong lineages and bigger legacies, we are determined to be with someone we can communicate with lovingly.

2020 should motivate you to look at all aspects of life differently. It has been a year of trials and disharmony. It's provided us the opportunity to see life in a new light. We all shared common frustrations and agonies this year, bringing us closer together. This year has cultivated more space and time for self love and discovery. One of the most beautiful parts of love is that it poses questions that remain forever unanswered. We don't know where love will lead us. We go with it and evolve with it. We respond to it the best way we know how. We don't cling on to it, force ourselves into love or try to bribe it. We respect love's organic nature and we know that have all we need within ourselves to exude beauty, joy, and abundance. 

1 comment


  • Hello, thank you for sharing those inspiring words when there is do much negativity right now.

    Pat on

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